The Great Outdoors

As I sit here in the 'grocery getter' waiting to pick up my babies (and yes, I started typing this out with the teeny-tiny buttons on my phone--because I was INSPIRED, OK?!) , I am thinking on opportunities for our kiddos to learn about the great outdoors. I want my kids to carry on hunting and fishing, camping, and enjoying everything that the outside world has to offer. I grew up doing all of those things, and I fully believe that its my responsibility as a parent to figure out a way to make those things interesting for my kids. And not just for my girls, but for JB too. And so I have to figure out how to relate this world to a boy with autism. Grrrreeeeeeeaaat. But hey, I am determined.

JB at fishing event 

So I have decided that this year I will be more committed to getting the kids up out of the house and getting them active outside. We have always been a fan of playing outside vs. video games and sitting in front of the TV, so this has not really been that difficult. Its the rest that I am stressing about. I am worried about teaching him how to fish. We went to a fishing event for people with special needs a few weeks back, and he enjoyed himself (well, the fishing part. The rest is a whole other story for another time *smile*). But that was a totally controlled environment, where the tanks were stocked, and you could see all the fish going on about their business, and I really think that's the main reason he enjoyed himself so much. He thought the fish were having so much fun swimming around that he really thought he should get in there and swim around with him. I didn't. We fought. I won. For once. YAY MOM!!! *smile*. But the point is, he had a good time.

JB camping at Uncle Bubba's

I am scared to take him camping. What happens if he feels like going for a walk in the middle of the night?? There are no security features like door alarms and window locks on any tents I've ever seen. I'll be riggin' that tent like a crazy person trying to keep him inside! But we've done it before. <---See this pic? This was taken while we were camping with some of Butch's family. We had such a good time with the family, and there were no phones going off, no conversations competing with the TV, and no crazy video games. It was soo nice, and that's why I want to continue doing this. It's totally worth it.

And then we get into the scary world of hunting. No, I don't mean hunting is scary in itself. I mean scary as in teaching a kid how to use a weapon--an AUTISTIC kid. And before I get a bunch of y'all sounding off about kids and weapons let me just tell you this: I have known how to uses weapons my whole life. I can't even remember not knowing how to shoot. Or not knowing how to use a knife. This was ingrained in me from the very beginning. there was no "put the guns aways, the kids are in the room". At our house, it was

Jenna shooting her BB gun

"let me show you how to use these properly so that you don't hurt yourself or someone else". And here in my own home, with my own family, that's how its been from the beginning. I fully believe that if you want to have responsible kids, you have to teach them how to be responsible. You can't hide something away and expect a kid not to be curious. What kid do you know that's not curious? So, instead of hiding, teach. Model good behavior with guns and other weapons, and most likely, you won't have to be scared of your kids using them. But how do I relate that to a kid with Autism?? I am still searching for that answer.

So now, my project is to teach JB how to use something. Whether its a bb gun or a bow and arrow or a fishing pole, I am determined to find something this boy can do. I want JB to find something he likes to do. The girls have softball and other things that interest them, but JB has nothing yet. Team sports are not something he can do right now. I want to give him something to do. I hope I can accomplish this! I want to share those moments with my son.

Please feel free to comment with any ideas you may have (I need HELP!! hehehe)!! I'd love to hear what others are doing--or if anyone else is a crazy as I am and is trying to do the same thing!

My Response On Suzanne Wright's (of Autism Speaks) Comments

I am a little late getting to the party with this post. This has been going on for about a week now, so I apologize for not getting this posted sooner. Life happens y'all!

A few days ago, Suzanne Wright of Autism Speaks wrote Autism Speaks to Washington-A Call for Action (check the link and read it if you haven't, I'll wait *wink*).  Now that I've read it and have read some responses, I feel like I have some responses of my own that I should write.

My initial knee-jerk reaction was not so chipper. I felt like a lot of the responders, offended and sad that this is the way that Autism Speaks chose to speak about our kids, and jumping up and down and saying "that's not our autism!". My son is a happy boy who makes me smile everyday. Makes me laugh constantly. Makes me happy to travel down this road together on his journey with autism. BUT, then I had a light-bulb moment after reading a post by Autism Daddy (one of my favorite blogs). He had a different point of view.

So now, after reading some things and taking time to actually think on the matter, I actually agree with what Suzanne Wright said in her post. No eye-rolling, tomato throwing, or booing yet y'all, just hear me out for a minute.

This is not our autism now, but is certainly was our autism in the beginning.

We had a little boy we couldn't reach. We went through sleepless years. We were on waiting list after waiting list. We spent hours coping with meltdowns that we didn't understand the reason for. We went through a time where I was terrified of taking him out in public anywhere for fear that he would get away from me or fear of a major melt-down and screaming fit. We had to use a leash when we went out in public. We had to basically tie him into his car seat. We put huge heavy-duty locks on the doors and alarms on the doors because we went through an elopement episode that was scary as hell, and we made a locking pantry cabinet, and we locked the refrigerator with a bike chain. We cannot afford to go to a DAN doctor because it would be an out-of-pocket expense, not to mention the travel expenses to get there, and our insurance won't cover most of his therapy outside of school. And JB just mastered the potty this summer--at 7 years old! That means I went though a good 4 extra years of poop!

And lets not forget, that for a while there, I was all alone with this. Just me, JB, and baby (at the time) Jenna. I am also divorced. Happily re-married now (and damn lucky for it, I know), but divorced none the less. So yes, that is also something that Suzanne Wright mentioned in her post. Statistics on the divorce rate of parents with a child with autism are staggering. Its not pretty, but it is the truth.

Close your eyes and think about an America where three million Americans and counting largely cannot take care of themselves without help. Imagine three million of our own – unable to dress, or eat independently, unable to use the toilet, unable to cross the street, unable to judge danger or the temperature, unable to pick up the phone and call for help.

And as I have mentioned before, the world in 10, 15, and 20 years from now scares the hell out of me because of all of our kids that currently have autism. What happens to a society where 1 out of 50 (it will be more by the with the way the numbers are going up) people can't function on their own in society? Can't cross the street safely by themselves, make a PB&J, or communicate their needs to others??

Yes, Suzanne Wright, this was our autism.

Fast-forward to now... Yes, we still have our days from hell. Yes, we still have the locks and alarms on the doors, and the locks on the food. JB is still not speaking. So yes, we still have days where that is our autism. But we have a child that we are starting to reach, who is engaging with us more and more every day. Who is generally a happy and healthy kid. And that gives me hope and it has brought me back to life and out of just existing.  BUT, Ms. Wright was trying to make a point to make lawmakers and others--to allow them to see the real and very often ugly side of autism. The despair and the hardships that are the truth for many families who feel like they don't have a voice because, for the most part, what people see in the media about autism is the feel-good stories. The stories of recovery, the stories of some awesome kiddos overcoming the odds of autism and succeeding. And we do need to see those stories. BUT, we don't see the other side in the media. This is a real side of autism that needs to be seen, because those who live with this kind of autism are those who need the most help and support.

Hugs to all of my fellow autism parents!

I Am Now One of *"THOSE"* Parents...

Before you even read this post, I will tell you there is some language...can't help it today, it's how I felt at the time and I want to tell the story how it really happened...soooo, yeah...it includes cursing. You have been warned! 

Wow...all I can say is...WOW! And shake my head as I sit here to write this. I always said that there was no way--as in no way in HELL!--that I would ever be one of *'THOSE'* parents. No way! Not me! Can't happen. Well folks, I'm here to tell ya...it CAN happen, and it can totally happen to you!! 'Cause it sure as hell happened to me. AND I am so hugely embarrassed to tell y'all about this, but I hope that by doing so I can help you not panic..and completely freak out...and have a total 3-year-old meltdown like I did. (And today, this has nothing to do with autism.) I so could have used one of these:

**FULL DISCLAIMER: What I am about to tell you was totally not funny at the time, but now that I have had time to process and live through it and everything, I actually find it a little funny. I have to look for the humor in these situations, because...well...honestly, if I don't laugh about it, I'm gonna cry about it. And crying about it leads to those little temper tantrums and a very unhappy mommy. And besides, isn't laughing a lot better than crying?? So, just thought I should put that out there for ya. If you don't like to laugh, my page probably isn't for you...just sayin'. Sooo...SMILE and be happy y'all!

OK, so I know you're wondering what could be so bad. I'm stalling...I know. But the ONE thing in this world that I swore to myself I would never do...I did. Its terrible. I FORGOT MY KID. There I said it...*sigh*. Holy CRAP!! I ACTUALLY FORGOT MY KID!! Poor Ressie...I forgot her at her pre-school. *Shaking my head* I am so ashamed. I totally panicked. I called her school--and then I lied on top of everything else!! I lied and told them I had a flat so that I didn't have to actually admit that I FORGOT MY OWN CHILD! A cloud of shame will follow me 'Pig-Pen'-style for a while for this one. WOW! And so, here's the story:

I was having a great day! Went and did my first Zumba video this morning with the bestie. Now when I say 'did', I mean 'watched'. Because we are so terrible at working out, we had to actually sit and watch the how-to section at the beginning of the video to see how hard this was going to be. And we did so while we were happily lounging on the couch drinking coffee and laughing at the totally hot Zumba girls making everything look so damn easy! Really?! Gah!! Grr...anyways, that's a whole other topic. So we watched, and decided we could go on, and the next morning we had 'work-out time', we would actually get up and do the steps they were showing on the video (small steps, right?). So ok, work-out, check *wink*.

So then I go to meet up with another autism mom from Big T's Buddies and ride down the road a little ways to meet up with a mom who is new to our group. This was the first time I had met the new mom, and I was excited and so was my friend. We get there and everything is going great. We have lunch, talk, and learn about each others' kids, and hang out and talk some more. Then, we are all getting antsy about checking the time since we have to pick up our kiddos. So she asks me what time I have to pick up my kids, and I say 3:00. Which is true, for JB and Jenna, my big kids. But poor Ressie. I FORGOT HER RIGHT THERE! Ding, ding, ding!! Warning bells shoud have been going off right there!! I am supposed to pick Ressie up from her pre-school at 2:30! So me and friend and friend's kids load up and we're trucking along back to Fairfield. Drop off friend at her car. Check the time, and then I'm all like, "Self, you've got plenty of time before you pick up the kids, let's cruise through Sonic and get a drink". And I'm all, "great idea Self"! Cool...here we go. Get the tea, "mmm...good tea". Check the time...still good! Then while I'm sitting there enjoying my drink in the awesome quiet (while jamming to "Stranglehold"

--that's totally "quiet time" for me as there were no screaming kids in the car at the time), I decide to call Butch and tell him about my awesome day. So I do, and we're talking. So I put him on speaker, and pull on out of Sonic so that I can meander my way to the school. Then he has to go, so we say our good-byes, and hang up. Crank the music (good tunes must be listened to at the proper level to be appreciated, after all), and then I think to myself, out of the blue, "where's Ressie?". HOLY #?*$!!!! *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*!!!!!!! (I can't actually bring myself to type what I said, my Mamaw is probably gonna read this!)  HOLY #$@&!!!!  I FREAKIN' FORGOT MY KID!! OH SHIT OH SHIT OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!! Literally....I went through all of that, and then into panic mode. HOLY CRAP I REALLY FORGOT RESSIE!! I'M A COMPLETE ASSHAT FAILURE OF A MOTHER!!! OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!!! So then I think, "OK, calm down...you gotta call the school before they call you". So I call, and out comes my lie..."Hey, this is Shannon, I'm soooooo SORRY!! I had a flat, but I'm on my way!" Cue the cloud of SHAME!! I lied to the teacher--at the CHURCH pre-school!--so that I didn't have to admit to anyone that I forgot my own child! So I get there and run in--ok, ok...walked...really fast--and when I get in there, she's just happy as can be, helping the teacher clean-up. Teacher says, "oh, she was fine, I'm always here until at least 3 anyways, its really ok". So I feel like more of an ass for lying! Great!

Well, me and little Miss Sunshine roll out of the church parking lot and head over to get in line at school to pick-up JB and Jenna. And cue the 3-year-old, bawling melt-down! Total over-load for me! Call Butch, no answer. Call Mom, no answer. Frantically call Mom again..."please freakin pick up! Why the F#$% do you not pick up?! HOLY CRAP JUST TELL ME YOU FORGOT ME JUST ONCE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!!"...still, no answer. "DAMMIT!!!"

I eventually calmed down. After some texting to the bestie and--finally--a phone call from Butch, I was convinced that, while I may not win "mother of the year", I am NOT a terrible parent. It happens to the best of us, y'all. On the bright side of this whole thing, she was totally supervised the entire time and was in a safe place. I didn't leave her at the park, or in the parking lot at WalMart, or anything like that. And, I was less than 15 minutes late (like only 14). So it could have been way worse. I am so thankful for her little pre-school, they are truly good people there!

And so ends another eventful day in the Margraves household. Please, please, please, let tomorrow be uneventful!

The Sunshine Award

Hey everyone! Today, I'm doing something a little different with my blog. Tsara has found my lil 'ol blog entertaining enough to nominate me for the Sunshine Award! Woohoo! I have *A* reader! LOL! This is a pretty neat little deal because we get to learn about all of the bloggers who participate and follow along with this little game. There are stipulations to follow, however:

For the Sunshine Award, the blogger must:

1. Acknowledge the nominating blogger (Thanks Tsara @Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton!!) 
2. Share 11 random facts about yourself. 
3. Answer 11 questions the nominating blogger has created for you. 
4. List 11 bloggers. They should be bloggers you believe deserve some recognition and a little blogging love! 
5. Post 11 questions for the bloggers you nominate to answer & let all the bloggers know they've been nominated. You cannot nominate the blogger who nominated you. 

So, now I guess I'll get to it!

11 Random Facts About Myself (NO LAUGHING!)

1. I love to cook--especially for a crowd. 
2. I am a music fanatic. I love everything from classic country to 80s hair bands...I've been told I have an extremely eclectic collection of music. Classic rock and Texas/Red Dirt Country are my faves! 
   
3. I have a weird obsession with eyebrows. I CANNOT STAND for any hair in my eyebrows to be out of place!! 
4. I'm a Scorpio, and I think that description fits me well. 
5. I have one lonely tattoo...a puzzle piece on my left wrist for JB. But there is a cool story about that tattoo, because my hubby has a matching one, and so do our 2 friends Dana and Brandon (Aunt Dana and 'Hunkle' Brandon to my kiddos). They also all fit together to symbolize that we're all in this together to support JB. 
6. I drive a very un-cool silver minivan that Butch refers to as the "cannon ball', I refer to it as the "grocery-getter", and my mother refers to it as the "vomitmobile". Now you can imagine on your own what that's like. One day, I WILL have a Suburban!! (If I keep repeating that to myself, maybe it will come true!)
   
7. Since having the gastric sleeve surgery, I truly do miss beer more than I miss any food! (Is that bad, lol?)
8. I only use Aquafresh toothpaste.
9. I am the only person I know who has dislocated her jaw a bajillion times.
   
10. I LOVE Duck Dynasty!!! Mostly because there is finally a reality show where people act my kind of normal! 
11. My favorite Disney movie is The Little Mermaid. 

Deserving Bloggers
Well, now, this is a little awkward for me. I don't actually know 11 bloggers, or read 11 blogs!! I will, however, list some blogs that I like and follow.

1. Betsy at Trials and Blessings--She is totally awesome! There is always an inspirational, pick-me-up message in her blog. And they're short and sweet! She is such an inspirational lady, and I always feel better after reading what she has to say. 
2. Autism Daddy has a lot of great info in his blog. Its also humorous and down-to-Earth. 
3. Mac at Homestyle Mama (with a Side of Autism) has an awesome blog!! She is so very easy to follow and always has great info. 
4. The Homestead Survival has lots of great info on everything from gardening and canning to raising your own animals for meat! Awesome information on lots of need-to-know subjects for our lifestyle.  
5. Message with a Bottle OK, so this dude is just hands-down freakin' hilarious! LOL! I mean his little tag line for his blog is "PARENTING. ONE WISEASS NOTE AT A TIME." What's not to like? 
6. I'm not supposed to mention, or 'nominate', the blog that nominated me, but I don't know that many, so I'm gonna be a rule-breaker, baby! Tsara at Autism Answers has such an awesome outlook on life! She turns everything into an uplifting, teachable moment. 

Well, I know its not eleven, but that's really all the blogs that I read on a regular basis. I told ya, I'm a rule-breaker.

11 Questions for the Bloggers I Nominate to Answer

1. What are you thinking about at this exact moment?
2. What are 10 random songs you love?
3. If you could meet one person, living or not, who has inspired you, who would that be and why?
4. What kind of museums do you like to visit?
5. What place would you most like to visit and why?
6. Chocolate or vanilla??
7. What charitable causes do you support--not necessarily monetarily, could just be with your actions or beliefs--and why do you think that cause is worthy?
8. What is your favorite animal?
9. What do you love most about each of your kids (if you don't have your own kids, pick one you know)?
10. What totally freaks you out?
11. What is one of your guilty pleasures?

"And now, the rest of the story"--my answers to the questions Tsara posted.

1. What do you enjoy most about writing? Writing is truly a therapy for me. I have found that if I'm stressed, sitting down to write about it helps to calm my nerves. That's how my blog was 'born', after all. 
2. Who are some of your biggest influences? I would have to say that some of the influences in my life are other autism parents. Its phenomenal to see parents come together for the good of their children. Autism parents band together--after all, no one knows you better than someone who walks in your shoes every day. BUT--I do have to say that my parents are the biggest influences in my life. I had awesome parents growing up. I had the parents that you could go to when you needed to talk about anything under the sun. I had the parents who didn't let what everyone else is doing interfere with their parenting. I had the parents who knew everything I did before I got home from a night out with my friends ;). My parents both had jobs working their tails off to provide for us, and yet Wade (lil bro) and I still made it to every band practice, sports practice, games, boy/girl scouts, 4-H, FFA, etc. event that we ever had. AND my mom managed to keep a super-clean house and home-made dinners on the table. I don't know about some of you other parents, but I'm still trying to figure all of this out. I sure as hell will never be SuperMom, but if I can be at least half as good as my parents were, that's something! 
3. Are you a shower or bath person? Well, I'm mostly a shower person, but never underestimate the rejuvenating super-power of a hot bubble bath with a good book and a glass of wine within reach! 
4. When someone asks,"What do you do?", what is your answer? "I'm a mom!" 
5. What is one fear you've gotten over in your life? I think the biggest fear I have (mostly) overcome would have to be my fear of failure as a mother. It does still sneak up on me every now and then, but for the most part, I have stomped on it and swept it to the side. I was so afraid of failing at being JB's mom. So afraid of having to fight this autism battle. So afraid of making the wrong decisions when it came to anything for JB, from ARD/IEP meetings to therapy decisions--they had me frozen and scared. All I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. BUT then, I stood up and had a Twisted Sister moment, 
and realized that all I could do was do my best. And so far, my best has been pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. Fear stomped out.
6. What is your favorite movie genre? I really like all kinds of movies. Sometimes I'm in the mood for an action, kill-'em-all type movie, and other times I want to snuggle on the couch with a box of Kleenex for a chic-flick. With a pillow though, because the Butcher is totally out on the chic-flicks. But I must say, my favorite de-stressor movies would have to be stoner comedies. You know, the ones where you feel like you've lost IQ points after watching them. Yeah, dude, those rock! 25 Best Stoner Comedies of All Time
7. How do you usually react to stress? I think most people that know me would say I panic about stuff. But I will say I kick stress in the teeth (mostly because it sounds cool, because I totally panic.)
8. Do you laugh often? I LOVE TO LAUGH and I do it as often as possible! 
9. When people describe you, what word do you think is most often used? What word would you use? Well, I would hope that most people would think 'happy'. I try to be positive and laugh as much as possible. Now, a word I would use...well, that's harder. I would say 'honest'. I want people to trust me. I want people to see an honest, down-to-earth, and happy person when they look at me. 
10. What's a favorite comfort food? Chicken fried backstrap (venison) with cream gravy, mashed potatoes, green peas, and home-made biscuits.
11. Do you prefer to read fact or fiction? While I do read a ton of factual books (autism=lots of reading), I would much rather read a good novel.

Thanks for reading all these random things about me!! I hope you are inspired to play along in the comment section! If you post questions for me, I will try to answer them. Go on and play along with your friends, its a great way to get to know your buddies! 

Celebrating Potty Training!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are there a large amount of exclamation points in the title of this blog post? BECAUSE I'M FREAKIN' EXCITED TO REPORT THAT THE BOY IS FINALLY **COMPLETELY** TOILET TRAINED!!!!!!!! I wish I could put a MILLION !s after that sentence!! It is sooooo wonderful to not have to worry about accidents. So wonderful to not have to carry around poop-y clothes after an accident. AND it is especially wonderful not to get those stares from the dumbfounded people who couldn't understand why my almost-eight-year-old was not potty trained. It had been going on for so long that I had grown a thick skin about those little sideways glances and crazy comments from people. But if you know me, you know that wasn't always the case. But that gives me a subject for a whole other post--you'll have to wait to hear about those shenanigans. This one is about celebrating my boy!

JB is now 8 (September 12 was his birthday), and he has just recently--end of this summer--became fully potty trained. Just for comparison purposes, both of my younger girls--Jenna is 6 (will be 7 next week), and Ressie is 4--were potty trained fairly early. We started for the first time with JB when he was around 2--ya know, the 'normal' time to start. Well, we discovered he was TERRIFIED of the toilet. And completely not interested in going on the toilet. He seemed to not care if he was sitting in a soggy or dirty diaper. That went on for a while. Then he became a little too-fascinated with the toilet and he began to start playing in it. Not like gross pee water and poop smearing play (a lot of other kids on the spectrum seem to do that though), but he was putting his toys in there and seeing if they would float. So one day he thought he's see in Thomas the Train like to swim. And well, he didn't. He sank. And got flushed. And then got stuck. A 'very useful engine' my ass! We had to take the whole toilet out and when we tried to pull it out, we completely broke the toilet! Grrr!!!

 + =

So we got through that phase, and eventually he started to pee in the toilet. That took A LOT of work at both school and home. When we talked to the therapists about his potty training problem, they told us that because JB has such a high pain tolerance, he more than likely couldn't feel that urge to go. So then we approached it as a timing issue. We took him at regular intervals and he learned to pee in the toilet. That whole pooping thing wasn't happening though! He would not sit down on the toilet. Another bump in the road. BUT FINALLY, after years of poop-y underwear and trying to 'get the timing right', it happened. That magical day when I looked up and saw him sneak into the bathroom (he won't go if he knows you're watching). I snuck up to the doorway and peeked around and witnessed a miracle!!  Praise Jesus!--HE WENT IN THE TOILET!!! Have you ever had a moment when you think you hear a majestical choir sing the 'Hallelujah Chorus' in your head?? Well--that was it for this momma!! I am so proud of my lil man! He is happy little boy!

JB and Jenna on the first day of school this year

A Soapbox Rant From Me

It was a night like any other recent night...

The kiddos had long since gone to bed. Butch was already in bed. And here I sat, at the computer, checking up on my little corner of Facebook, checking emails, and playing Candy Crush--all at the same time, LOL. And then I saw it...this pic was posted by a friend of mine:

And so it got me thinking. And I had a little discussion with a friend. And then I was thinking some more. WOW...this pretty much says it like it is. Blue lights are all well and good, but do people really know WHY we put out all those blue lights? WHY parents work their asses off and bug their friends and family about changing their light bulbs to blue bulbs in April?? Do they know the real reason we do this? Yes, most people can now tell you its for Autism awareness. But can they tell you more than that? Like WHY we need Autism awareness?? WHY we NEED people to actually BE AWARE of Autism?? Can they tell you that the newest numbers--and scariest numbers-- from some of these studies are saying that 1 in 50 kiddos will be diagnosed with Autism by the time they are 8 years old? (*Note that this is not the current 'official CDC diagnosis' number, but a number from a parent survey done by the CDC). Can they tell you what that's going to mean in 10, 15, even 20 years from now when these kids are grown and should be on their own? Let's face it y'all, a lot of these kids aren't going to be able to be on their own when they hit adulthood. What's going to happen to society, to the workforce, when 1 in 50 people (well, it will probably be more than that with the way these numbers are accelerating) have some form of autism?

I'll tell ya how I feel--it scares the hell out of me. It scares me because JB is on the more severe end of the spectrum. He's 7, and has just now been fully potty trained this summer. He can't speak. Yes, he will say words, but not on his own, he has to be prompted. He is so far in his own little world that he can't walk around our local grocery store without being beside me. He's only interested in running laps around the inside perimeter of the store. He can read well, and he's pretty good at the math for his age. He loves school and loves to learn. But I'm scared because I'm not sure that he could make a PB&J sandwich for himself if he had to. I'm scared because he can't cross the street safely by himself if he had to. Will he still be at this stage at 18? At 20? Who knows? I don't. And it scares the hell out of me. 

Yes, we need people to be aware. Yes, it makes me feel good to see all the blue lights in April, because to me, it shows that people acknowledge that there is an issue. But does it truly help? Not unless the people who put out the blue lights take the time to learn the "WHY" of it all. We need compassionate doctors who actually want to help recover kids, not just look at them and say "here's a list of things that might help, have a good day!". Where are the doctors who will actually talk to the scared-to-death parents and try to figure out the best plan of action together and not just rush them out of the office? Where are the support services that we need? That these people actually NEED?! They're being given to people who are cheating the system (for the most part, I know there are people getting services who do actually need them, and that's a wonderful thing). Why can insurance companies tell you that your child isn't covered under your policy because he has Autism? So...you cover other kids with other disabilities? Why is Autism different? Why will you not cover my son's speech therapy that he needs because he's never spoken and cover another kid's therapy because they lost their speech because of an accident? Do these companies think that my kid speaking is not as important at the other kid speaking? GRRRRRRR!!! It makes me want to scream, what these companies get away with.

((DEEP BREATH....in....out..........ahhhhh, OK, calmer now...))



The bottom line is this: we need to reach out to educate people whenever we have the opportunity. With numbers like these, eventually almost everyone will be affected by autism in some way.



(*steps down off soap box*)


Hugs to all of my autism friends...we CAN do this y'all!! Love and encouragement to all!!

HOLY MONKEY BATMAN...she *finally* wrote a new blog post!

Well y'all, I'm finally back at it! Yep, after a huge absence, here I go again.

JB started summer school this week, and we have had one happy boy! Only one big fit this week, and that was on Monday after he came home from school. He came home upset and proceeded to get worse because he knew he wasn't supposed to be home from school that early. Poor baby--summer school is only from 8:30-11:30am, but JB wants his full day dammit!! LOL! Well, his fit escalated into full-blown melt-down mode, so I banished him to his room to throw his fit. I went in there and sat with him to make sure he didn't hurt himself (or throw anything through the window, which is A LOT more likely), and I finally got him to sit in his comfy beanbag chair and start to calm down. Well that lasted for all of about 5 seconds, so I bribed him with Veggie Tales and off we go to the living room to watch TV (Mom of the Year award to me, I know, but hey, it kinda worked). So I put on the Veggie Tales that I have thankfully DVR'ed, and even though he's still crying a little bit, he sits with me and lets me rub his back. And after an hours worth of Veggie Tales, I have a happy kiddo!

Mommy, on the other hand, needed a glass of wine! But HOLY COW BATMAN---she can't have any alcohol!! Why? Because I failed to mention that I was recovering from surgery last week, and of course JB would have a melt-down on my first day home alone with the kids. So here's the story on my surgery:

I had bariatric (weight-loss) surgery. I chose to do the procedure that's known as the gastric sleeve. Before y'all ask, no its not like the Lap-Band. In this surgery, they went in and took out the pouch part of my stomach, and that part that's left looks like a banana, or a 'sleeve' (get it?). By taking out that portion of the stomach, its supposed to remove the hormone that causes you to crave food even when you're not hungry. (Bet it doesn't work for wine, cause I still want that, LOL!) Hey Batman--that's just what I needed!!

So here I am, close to two weeks after my surgery, and I'm doing great! Pretty much the only issue I've had that's been hard for me to handle at the moment was the big melt-down on Monday, so I've had it pretty easy. The hubby has been awesome at helping me out! He's done dishes and fed the kids and even done the laundry (even though that makes me cringe, he didn't ruin anything this time, LOL)! The one complaint I have is that on the night he made homemade burgers, he wouldn't let me lick the patty! I'm on a liquid diet, give me a break here! The 'juice' coming off that burger is a liquid--give it up! Nah, I'm playing, I should NOT be licking burger patties! Thanks for saving me Butch!

So all is well here in 'hillbilly land' where we live. Right now, Butch and a buddy of his are outside cuttin' down dead trees. Luckily, this time Butch and the chainsaw have not had a disagreement, so I have seen no chainsaws flying across the yard. Another plus--Butch is not doing his famous lumberjack move of swinging an ax once, stopping for a swig of beer, then taking another swing with the ax, all the while sitting on a bucket. The day has not gone downhill yet! Woohoo!! That'll do it for now y'all, I'm off to make sure no trees fall on the house!