Well y'all, it's been almost a year since I have written on this blog, and that HAS to change! I have so much I should be sharing, and for not doing that, I am sorry.
So here we go:
What have we been up to?
Well, to tell ya the truth, not that much of anything different. We're still here, on our lil 10 acres of Freestone County. There's still the five of us, plus Butch's nephew, Cory. We have the addition of 4 adorable, fur-ball puppies, courtesy of Holly, our very "friendly" (chuckle, chuckle y'all--its better than what Butch calls her) lil mutt. And we no longer have pigs or chickens at the moment. I won't tell y'all what happened to them, but I bet you can guess. We did eat very well over this last year that I haven't been blogging.
How have JB, Jenna, and Ressie been doing in school?
Let's start with the girls. Jenna is in second grade, and is a total wonder of a student. She makes straight A's and all of her conduct grades have been perfect since the beginning of time. Where did this wonder kid come from?? Hmmm... maybe she takes after her Momma?? (*bats eyelashes and smiles a super-hopeful smile) Ressie is a great student also, which, sorry folks, but it seriously surprised the hell outta me! (She probably takes more after Butch than me, *smile*...) She has been very well behaved in class and also makes straight A's. BUT... she is not that great on the bus. She's been written up a few times. And because of that, we now have the addition of sticker charts for their behavior on the bus. Every time they have a good day on the bus they get a sticker. At the end of the month, the kiddos that have a full month of stickers get to go to Dairy Queen for a special ice cream treat. Woohoo!! Fun for them! Wait--except that the girls thought it would be fun to make Momma a sticker chart too. And Momma gets stickers for good days just like the kids do. And if Momma has a full month of stickers, then she get to go to Dairy Queen too. I mean, "lead by example", right?? I'll take a sundae a month! BUT... Momma messed up on THE FIRST DAY!! And of course they had to point this out. That they were all gonna get stickers that day, but not Momma. All because Momma unbuckled her seatbelt just a smidge too soon. I really had to hang my head for that one! And of course, they're never gonna let me for get about it!
Ok...so enough Momma bashing, and on to JB. JB has not had the best transition to the new campus at school. He moved to the intermediate school this year when he started third grade. Another new thing this year? He's riding the bus. And so are the girls. But the girls ride the big bus, and JB rides the little bus. So far, the bus has been an awesome change for me, and the girls love it, but I'm not so sure about JB. Its hit or miss most days. Some days are good on the bus, others are terrible. But hey, that's life I guess. I want him to try new things. He can't sit in a bubble his whole life and never experience anything new because its "out of his routine". We have to create new routines and encourage change. So that's the same attitude I have to have about him changing school campuses. Except for the fact that its now January. He's been going to school since August. You'd think he's be acclimated by now to the new school. I'm just not so sure. He still has some pretty rough days, and his is chinning behavior is getting worse. But on the bright side--more actual words are coming! Yes, you read that right!! MORE WORDS ARE COMING!! And that my friends, is an AWESOME thing!!
What's going on with all "farm stuff" right now?
Honestly, not a lot. Not what should be going on. We are down to only the dogs and the goats right now. And of course, the one lonely guinea, who actually is now the longest surviving animal on our place. He's even been around longer than our two dogs. WOW, that's one tough (and very loud) guinea. Chickens are in the works again...well, they will be when the coop is finished, anyway. We are working on what we want to plant this year. I hope we're able to get some things in the ground! Home-grown always tastes so much better!
I will quit boring y'all now! But--HEY--most of y'all were dying to know what's been going on around here, I know it! (*rolling my eyes and laughing)
Much love to all!!
OH YEAH, I almost forgot---We are still rolling and doing lots of fun stuff with Big T's Buddies Autism Support Network. We are also working with other friends on the upcoming Big T Memorial Cook-Off. Be watching for updates on both on mine and Butch's Facebook pages, or here on my blog (I'm making a promise now to work on it more!!). If you would like to know how these two great things got started, check out this page on my blog at http://dirtroadsandautism.blogspot.com/p/about-big-ts-buddies.html.
You can also check out these websites for more info: for Big T's Buddies, www.bigtsbuddies.org, and for the Big T Memorial Cook-Off, www.bigtbash.com. The cook-off also has a Facebook page that can be found at https://www.facebook.com/bigtmemorialcookoff.
Dirt Roads and Autism
I created this blog as a place for me to rant and talk about our life with autism. I want to give folks a look into what its like dealing with autism day-to-day in a rural setting. I haven't seen a lot of those types of blogs yet, so I'm hoping I can reach out to like-minded people who are in sort-of the same situation. Or people who are just curious about our situation. So, y'all come on in and check us out!
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Words That Hurt
I absolutely LOVE this blog post I ran across today!! This post was written by John C. McGinley, an actor who is also an ambassador for Special Olympics. Click the link (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-c-mcginley/what-really-happens-when-you-use-the-r-word_b_4896444.html) and please, please, please go read it. Don't worry, I will wait...
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So there I was (don't worry, this is not the beginning of a great redneck story--this time!), scanning through my news feed on Facebook, and
BOOM,there is was in all of its glory. Thank you Autism with a Side of Fries (another good blog I follow, check it out sometime)!! And then I was inspired to write about this subject. For those of you who didn't go read the article (seriously, go read it!!! Here is the link.), it is about the infamous "R-word". And by "R-word", I mean any use of the word "retarded" or "retard" in any of its forms, also including the suffix "-tard". I would also like to include the use of terms such as "the short bus" and all that entails when used in a derogatory fashion.
Now, the thing is, I know most people who use this language do not mean to verbally harm anyone. I know plenty of people who use this terminology, and I know they really don't mean any harm by it. They're just trying to be funny or silly. I've even used "retard", and called people "retarded", and said something that my friends were doing was "retarded". I even had a T-shirt (from my uber-awesome T-shirt collection, which I used to pride myself on in my youth) that said something to the effect of 'you rode the short bus didn't you?'. Well, fast forward to now, and I have JB, who, starting next year, will be riding the short bus to school. In the words of Homer Simpson, DOH!!
What a wake-up call! I wouldn't want anyone saying that in a derogatory fashion around my son, and I sure don't want anyone referring to him as a "retard". He is not mentally retarded. He is developmentally delayed. I really can't state it in a better way than the article did; it was so eloquently written and right on point. He said it so well!! Thank you John C. McGinley! I hope your post goes viral. It deserves a TON of attention! Please share it with your friends. With the autism numbers rising (and the number of special-needs people in general), we are all going to be affected in one way or another very soon. Think about that world where 1 in 50 people has some form of autism. Think of how many people you will be offending then if you're making fun of the short bus or you're calling someone a "retard". Please think about what you're really saying next time you use the "R-word".
Check out the website http://www.r-word.org/ to learn more about the "Spread the Word to End the Word" campaign and take the pledge to never use the "R-word". This is a great cause! Please help by spreading awareness!
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So there I was (don't worry, this is not the beginning of a great redneck story--this time!), scanning through my news feed on Facebook, and
BOOM,there is was in all of its glory. Thank you Autism with a Side of Fries (another good blog I follow, check it out sometime)!! And then I was inspired to write about this subject. For those of you who didn't go read the article (seriously, go read it!!! Here is the link.), it is about the infamous "R-word". And by "R-word", I mean any use of the word "retarded" or "retard" in any of its forms, also including the suffix "-tard". I would also like to include the use of terms such as "the short bus" and all that entails when used in a derogatory fashion.
Now, the thing is, I know most people who use this language do not mean to verbally harm anyone. I know plenty of people who use this terminology, and I know they really don't mean any harm by it. They're just trying to be funny or silly. I've even used "retard", and called people "retarded", and said something that my friends were doing was "retarded". I even had a T-shirt (from my uber-awesome T-shirt collection, which I used to pride myself on in my youth) that said something to the effect of 'you rode the short bus didn't you?'. Well, fast forward to now, and I have JB, who, starting next year, will be riding the short bus to school. In the words of Homer Simpson, DOH!!
What a wake-up call! I wouldn't want anyone saying that in a derogatory fashion around my son, and I sure don't want anyone referring to him as a "retard". He is not mentally retarded. He is developmentally delayed. I really can't state it in a better way than the article did; it was so eloquently written and right on point. He said it so well!! Thank you John C. McGinley! I hope your post goes viral. It deserves a TON of attention! Please share it with your friends. With the autism numbers rising (and the number of special-needs people in general), we are all going to be affected in one way or another very soon. Think about that world where 1 in 50 people has some form of autism. Think of how many people you will be offending then if you're making fun of the short bus or you're calling someone a "retard". Please think about what you're really saying next time you use the "R-word".
Check out the website http://www.r-word.org/ to learn more about the "Spread the Word to End the Word" campaign and take the pledge to never use the "R-word". This is a great cause! Please help by spreading awareness!
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Interesting Facts About Our Day-to-Day Happenings
I was sitting here on this cold, rainy day thinking that since I was stuck inside, I should write a blog post. But then I have this problem all the time of not knowing what to write about. So, I read up on some of the autism blogs that I follow, and I saw that a few of those bloggers have at least one post about some interesting facts of their everyday lives. So I thought I would do my own in hopes that some of you would like to know why we do certain things and the reasoning behind those things. Hope y'all enjoy!
1. We let JB bounce. On anything that can be bounced on. We have a big trampoline outside, but we also have a small exercise trampoline in his room. We also have a large ball that he can sit on and bounce on. But he also will bounce on the furniture and the beds. We try to limit the furniture and bed bouncing by re-directing him to something appropriate to bounce on, but honestly, if its helping him calm down, I'm all for it.
2. We have to lock up the food. Most people who have kids are able to regulate and watch what their child eats. Not us. JB will eat anything. And I mean anything. Literally. Including digging in the garbage for some half-eaten piece of scrumptiousness. The garbage thing doesn't happen often--thankfully--so we haven't had to come up with a way to lock that up--yet. But we do have a bike chain on the refrigerator, and we turned a large gun cabinet with locking double doors into a pantry. Its awesome! I keep everything that he might possibly want in the cabinet. The veggies are apparently safe on the open shelves. *smile*
3. We have alarms on the doors. There was a time not too long ago that JB decided to go for a walk. Even since that day, we have had some sort of lock and alarm system on the door. These days, we have a loud 'ding-dong'-type alarm that goes off when you open the door. It uses batteries and was super easy to install. Previously, we have used things like jingle bells on the door to let us know if it was opened. We also had a hasp lock on the very top of the door that we put a pin through and at one point we even used a pad lock with it. Be creative if you have to folks. You may get laughed at by some for being a redneck (I know from experience), but at least your child is safe.
4. JB wears hearing protection muffs a lot, especially in public. If you see JB wearing his very large red and black hearing protection muffs, its because there is just too much going on for him to function. He gets very overwhelmed by large crowds and noisy places. So these help to block out a lot of the background noise. And yes, they are actual shooting muffs, made for hearing protection while shooting. We happened to have these (because we shoot a lot), and one day we discovered they helped him. So they are now his.
5. We may have to remove JB from overwhelming situations. Sometimes we are out somewhere and JB just has a hard time being there. These are usually places where you are expected to sit still and be quiet. Awards assemblies, church services, weddings, anything like that. And usually when we have to take him outside, its not because he is mad or angry. Its because he is happy and he gets very excited and starts making all of his 'happy noises'. Most people are considerate and tell me not to worry about his noises, but I just believe that its considerate of me to remove the noisy child and let everyone else enjoy whatever is going on.
6. We have to set a timer for computer time. If we didn't, JB would never do anything else. EVER. He must believe YouTube exisits solely for his enjoyment. There is a constant stream of Sesame Street and other PBS shows on going on over here during his computer time. This one is especially annoying when heard over and over and OVER! So to stop all of the "overs and overs" we decided that we would try a timer. And it works beautifully!
Well, that's all I can think of at the moment, but if anyone has questions, post them in the comments and I'll be happy to answer them!
1. We let JB bounce. On anything that can be bounced on. We have a big trampoline outside, but we also have a small exercise trampoline in his room. We also have a large ball that he can sit on and bounce on. But he also will bounce on the furniture and the beds. We try to limit the furniture and bed bouncing by re-directing him to something appropriate to bounce on, but honestly, if its helping him calm down, I'm all for it.
2. We have to lock up the food. Most people who have kids are able to regulate and watch what their child eats. Not us. JB will eat anything. And I mean anything. Literally. Including digging in the garbage for some half-eaten piece of scrumptiousness. The garbage thing doesn't happen often--thankfully--so we haven't had to come up with a way to lock that up--yet. But we do have a bike chain on the refrigerator, and we turned a large gun cabinet with locking double doors into a pantry. Its awesome! I keep everything that he might possibly want in the cabinet. The veggies are apparently safe on the open shelves. *smile*
3. We have alarms on the doors. There was a time not too long ago that JB decided to go for a walk. Even since that day, we have had some sort of lock and alarm system on the door. These days, we have a loud 'ding-dong'-type alarm that goes off when you open the door. It uses batteries and was super easy to install. Previously, we have used things like jingle bells on the door to let us know if it was opened. We also had a hasp lock on the very top of the door that we put a pin through and at one point we even used a pad lock with it. Be creative if you have to folks. You may get laughed at by some for being a redneck (I know from experience), but at least your child is safe.
4. JB wears hearing protection muffs a lot, especially in public. If you see JB wearing his very large red and black hearing protection muffs, its because there is just too much going on for him to function. He gets very overwhelmed by large crowds and noisy places. So these help to block out a lot of the background noise. And yes, they are actual shooting muffs, made for hearing protection while shooting. We happened to have these (because we shoot a lot), and one day we discovered they helped him. So they are now his.
5. We may have to remove JB from overwhelming situations. Sometimes we are out somewhere and JB just has a hard time being there. These are usually places where you are expected to sit still and be quiet. Awards assemblies, church services, weddings, anything like that. And usually when we have to take him outside, its not because he is mad or angry. Its because he is happy and he gets very excited and starts making all of his 'happy noises'. Most people are considerate and tell me not to worry about his noises, but I just believe that its considerate of me to remove the noisy child and let everyone else enjoy whatever is going on.
Well, that's all I can think of at the moment, but if anyone has questions, post them in the comments and I'll be happy to answer them!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
The Great Outdoors
As I sit here in the 'grocery getter' waiting to pick up my babies (and yes, I started typing this out with the teeny-tiny buttons on my phone--because I was INSPIRED, OK?!) , I am thinking on opportunities for our kiddos to learn about the great outdoors. I want my kids to carry on hunting and fishing, camping, and enjoying everything that the outside world has to offer. I grew up doing all of those things, and I fully believe that its my responsibility as a parent to figure out a way to make those things interesting for my kids. And not just for my girls, but for JB too. And so I have to figure out how to relate this world to a boy with autism. Grrrreeeeeeeaaat. But hey, I am determined.
So I have decided that this year I will be more committed to getting the kids up out of the house and getting them active outside. We have always been a fan of playing outside vs. video games and sitting in front of the TV, so this has not really been that difficult. Its the rest that I am stressing about. I am worried about teaching him how to fish. We went to a fishing event for people with special needs a few weeks back, and he enjoyed himself (well, the fishing part. The rest is a whole other story for another time *smile*). But that was a totally controlled environment, where the tanks were stocked, and you could see all the fish going on about their business, and I really think that's the main reason he enjoyed himself so much. He thought the fish were having so much fun swimming around that he really thought he should get in there and swim around with him. I didn't. We fought. I won. For once. YAY MOM!!! *smile*. But the point is, he had a good time.
I am scared to take him camping. What happens if he feels like going for a walk in the middle of the night?? There are no security features like door alarms and window locks on any tents I've ever seen. I'll be riggin' that tent like a crazy person trying to keep him inside! But we've done it before. <---See this pic? This was taken while we were camping with some of Butch's family. We had such a good time with the family, and there were no phones going off, no conversations competing with the TV, and no crazy video games. It was soo nice, and that's why I want to continue doing this. It's totally worth it.
And then we get into the scary world of hunting. No, I don't mean hunting is scary in itself. I mean scary as in teaching a kid how to use a weapon--an AUTISTIC kid. And before I get a bunch of y'all sounding off about kids and weapons let me just tell you this: I have known how to uses weapons my whole life. I can't even remember not knowing how to shoot. Or not knowing how to use a knife. This was ingrained in me from the very beginning. there was no "put the guns aways, the kids are in the room". At our house, it was
"let me show you how to use these properly so that you don't hurt yourself or someone else". And here in my own home, with my own family, that's how its been from the beginning. I fully believe that if you want to have responsible kids, you have to teach them how to be responsible. You can't hide something away and expect a kid not to be curious. What kid do you know that's not curious? So, instead of hiding, teach. Model good behavior with guns and other weapons, and most likely, you won't have to be scared of your kids using them. But how do I relate that to a kid with Autism?? I am still searching for that answer.
So now, my project is to teach JB how to use something. Whether its a bb gun or a bow and arrow or a fishing pole, I am determined to find something this boy can do. I want JB to find something he likes to do. The girls have softball and other things that interest them, but JB has nothing yet. Team sports are not something he can do right now. I want to give him something to do. I hope I can accomplish this! I want to share those moments with my son.
Please feel free to comment with any ideas you may have (I need HELP!! hehehe)!! I'd love to hear what others are doing--or if anyone else is a crazy as I am and is trying to do the same thing!
JB at fishing event |
JB camping at Uncle Bubba's |
And then we get into the scary world of hunting. No, I don't mean hunting is scary in itself. I mean scary as in teaching a kid how to use a weapon--an AUTISTIC kid. And before I get a bunch of y'all sounding off about kids and weapons let me just tell you this: I have known how to uses weapons my whole life. I can't even remember not knowing how to shoot. Or not knowing how to use a knife. This was ingrained in me from the very beginning. there was no "put the guns aways, the kids are in the room". At our house, it was
Jenna shooting her BB gun |
So now, my project is to teach JB how to use something. Whether its a bb gun or a bow and arrow or a fishing pole, I am determined to find something this boy can do. I want JB to find something he likes to do. The girls have softball and other things that interest them, but JB has nothing yet. Team sports are not something he can do right now. I want to give him something to do. I hope I can accomplish this! I want to share those moments with my son.
Please feel free to comment with any ideas you may have (I need HELP!! hehehe)!! I'd love to hear what others are doing--or if anyone else is a crazy as I am and is trying to do the same thing!
Saturday, November 23, 2013
My Response On Suzanne Wright's (of Autism Speaks) Comments
I am a little late getting to the party with this post. This has been going on for about a week now, so I apologize for not getting this posted sooner. Life happens y'all!
A few days ago, Suzanne Wright of Autism Speaks wrote Autism Speaks to Washington-A Call for Action (check the link and read it if you haven't, I'll wait *wink*). Now that I've read it and have read some responses, I feel like I have some responses of my own that I should write.
My initial knee-jerk reaction was not so chipper. I felt like a lot of the responders, offended and sad that this is the way that Autism Speaks chose to speak about our kids, and jumping up and down and saying "that's not our autism!". My son is a happy boy who makes me smile everyday. Makes me laugh constantly. Makes me happy to travel down this road together on his journey with autism. BUT, then I had a light-bulb moment after reading a post by Autism Daddy (one of my favorite blogs). He had a different point of view.
So now, after reading some things and taking time to actually think on the matter, I actually agree with what Suzanne Wright said in her post. No eye-rolling, tomato throwing, or booing yet y'all, just hear me out for a minute.
This is not our autism now, but is certainly was our autism in the beginning.
We had a little boy we couldn't reach. We went through sleepless years. We were on waiting list after waiting list. We spent hours coping with meltdowns that we didn't understand the reason for. We went through a time where I was terrified of taking him out in public anywhere for fear that he would get away from me or fear of a major melt-down and screaming fit. We had to use a leash when we went out in public. We had to basically tie him into his car seat. We put huge heavy-duty locks on the doors and alarms on the doors because we went through an elopement episode that was scary as hell, and we made a locking pantry cabinet, and we locked the refrigerator with a bike chain. We cannot afford to go to a DAN doctor because it would be an out-of-pocket expense, not to mention the travel expenses to get there, and our insurance won't cover most of his therapy outside of school. And JB just mastered the potty this summer--at 7 years old! That means I went though a good 4 extra years of poop!
And lets not forget, that for a while there, I was all alone with this. Just me, JB, and baby (at the time) Jenna. I am also divorced. Happily re-married now (and damn lucky for it, I know), but divorced none the less. So yes, that is also something that Suzanne Wright mentioned in her post. Statistics on the divorce rate of parents with a child with autism are staggering. Its not pretty, but it is the truth.
Close your eyes and think about an America where three million Americans and counting largely cannot take care of themselves without help. Imagine three million of our own – unable to dress, or eat independently, unable to use the toilet, unable to cross the street, unable to judge danger or the temperature, unable to pick up the phone and call for help.
And as I have mentioned before, the world in 10, 15, and 20 years from now scares the hell out of me because of all of our kids that currently have autism. What happens to a society where 1 out of 50 (it will be more by the with the way the numbers are going up) people can't function on their own in society? Can't cross the street safely by themselves, make a PB&J, or communicate their needs to others??
Yes, Suzanne Wright, this was our autism.
Fast-forward to now... Yes, we still have our days from hell. Yes, we still have the locks and alarms on the doors, and the locks on the food. JB is still not speaking. So yes, we still have days where that is our autism. But we have a child that we are starting to reach, who is engaging with us more and more every day. Who is generally a happy and healthy kid. And that gives me hope and it has brought me back to life and out of just existing. BUT, Ms. Wright was trying to make a point to make lawmakers and others--to allow them to see the real and very often ugly side of autism. The despair and the hardships that are the truth for many families who feel like they don't have a voice because, for the most part, what people see in the media about autism is the feel-good stories. The stories of recovery, the stories of some awesome kiddos overcoming the odds of autism and succeeding. And we do need to see those stories. BUT, we don't see the other side in the media. This is a real side of autism that needs to be seen, because those who live with this kind of autism are those who need the most help and support.
Hugs to all of my fellow autism parents!
A few days ago, Suzanne Wright of Autism Speaks wrote Autism Speaks to Washington-A Call for Action (check the link and read it if you haven't, I'll wait *wink*). Now that I've read it and have read some responses, I feel like I have some responses of my own that I should write.
My initial knee-jerk reaction was not so chipper. I felt like a lot of the responders, offended and sad that this is the way that Autism Speaks chose to speak about our kids, and jumping up and down and saying "that's not our autism!". My son is a happy boy who makes me smile everyday. Makes me laugh constantly. Makes me happy to travel down this road together on his journey with autism. BUT, then I had a light-bulb moment after reading a post by Autism Daddy (one of my favorite blogs). He had a different point of view.
So now, after reading some things and taking time to actually think on the matter, I actually agree with what Suzanne Wright said in her post. No eye-rolling, tomato throwing, or booing yet y'all, just hear me out for a minute.
This is not our autism now, but is certainly was our autism in the beginning.
We had a little boy we couldn't reach. We went through sleepless years. We were on waiting list after waiting list. We spent hours coping with meltdowns that we didn't understand the reason for. We went through a time where I was terrified of taking him out in public anywhere for fear that he would get away from me or fear of a major melt-down and screaming fit. We had to use a leash when we went out in public. We had to basically tie him into his car seat. We put huge heavy-duty locks on the doors and alarms on the doors because we went through an elopement episode that was scary as hell, and we made a locking pantry cabinet, and we locked the refrigerator with a bike chain. We cannot afford to go to a DAN doctor because it would be an out-of-pocket expense, not to mention the travel expenses to get there, and our insurance won't cover most of his therapy outside of school. And JB just mastered the potty this summer--at 7 years old! That means I went though a good 4 extra years of poop!
And lets not forget, that for a while there, I was all alone with this. Just me, JB, and baby (at the time) Jenna. I am also divorced. Happily re-married now (and damn lucky for it, I know), but divorced none the less. So yes, that is also something that Suzanne Wright mentioned in her post. Statistics on the divorce rate of parents with a child with autism are staggering. Its not pretty, but it is the truth.
Close your eyes and think about an America where three million Americans and counting largely cannot take care of themselves without help. Imagine three million of our own – unable to dress, or eat independently, unable to use the toilet, unable to cross the street, unable to judge danger or the temperature, unable to pick up the phone and call for help.
And as I have mentioned before, the world in 10, 15, and 20 years from now scares the hell out of me because of all of our kids that currently have autism. What happens to a society where 1 out of 50 (it will be more by the with the way the numbers are going up) people can't function on their own in society? Can't cross the street safely by themselves, make a PB&J, or communicate their needs to others??
Yes, Suzanne Wright, this was our autism.
Fast-forward to now... Yes, we still have our days from hell. Yes, we still have the locks and alarms on the doors, and the locks on the food. JB is still not speaking. So yes, we still have days where that is our autism. But we have a child that we are starting to reach, who is engaging with us more and more every day. Who is generally a happy and healthy kid. And that gives me hope and it has brought me back to life and out of just existing. BUT, Ms. Wright was trying to make a point to make lawmakers and others--to allow them to see the real and very often ugly side of autism. The despair and the hardships that are the truth for many families who feel like they don't have a voice because, for the most part, what people see in the media about autism is the feel-good stories. The stories of recovery, the stories of some awesome kiddos overcoming the odds of autism and succeeding. And we do need to see those stories. BUT, we don't see the other side in the media. This is a real side of autism that needs to be seen, because those who live with this kind of autism are those who need the most help and support.
Hugs to all of my fellow autism parents!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
I Am Now One of *"THOSE"* Parents...
Before you even read this post, I will tell you there is some language...can't help it today, it's how I felt at the time and I want to tell the story how it really happened...soooo, yeah...it includes cursing. You have been warned!
Wow...all I can say is...WOW! And shake my head as I sit here to write this. I always said that there was no way--as in no way in HELL!--that I would ever be one of *'THOSE'* parents. No way! Not me! Can't happen. Well folks, I'm here to tell ya...it CAN happen, and it can totally happen to you!! 'Cause it sure as hell happened to me. AND I am so hugely embarrassed to tell y'all about this, but I hope that by doing so I can help you not panic..and completely freak out...and have a total 3-year-old meltdown like I did. (And today, this has nothing to do with autism.) I so could have used one of these:
**FULL DISCLAIMER: What I am about to tell you was totally not funny at the time, but now that I have had time to process and live through it and everything, I actually find it a little funny. I have to look for the humor in these situations, because...well...honestly, if I don't laugh about it, I'm gonna cry about it. And crying about it leads to those little temper tantrums and a very unhappy mommy. And besides, isn't laughing a lot better than crying?? So, just thought I should put that out there for ya. If you don't like to laugh, my page probably isn't for you...just sayin'. Sooo...SMILE and be happy y'all!
OK, so I know you're wondering what could be so bad. I'm stalling...I know. But the ONE thing in this world that I swore to myself I would never do...I did. Its terrible. I FORGOT MY KID. There I said it...*sigh*. Holy CRAP!! I ACTUALLY FORGOT MY KID!! Poor Ressie...I forgot her at her pre-school. *Shaking my head* I am so ashamed. I totally panicked. I called her school--and then I lied on top of everything else!! I lied and told them I had a flat so that I didn't have to actually admit that I FORGOT MY OWN CHILD! A cloud of shame will follow me 'Pig-Pen'-style for a while for this one. WOW! And so, here's the story:
I was having a great day! Went and did my first Zumba video this morning with the bestie. Now when I say 'did', I mean 'watched'. Because we are so terrible at working out, we had to actually sit and watch the how-to section at the beginning of the video to see how hard this was going to be. And we did so while we were happily lounging on the couch drinking coffee and laughing at the totally hot Zumba girls making everything look so damn easy! Really?! Gah!! Grr...anyways, that's a whole other topic. So we watched, and decided we could go on, and the next morning we had 'work-out time', we would actually get up and do the steps they were showing on the video (small steps, right?). So ok, work-out, check *wink*.
So then I go to meet up with another autism mom from Big T's Buddies and ride down the road a little ways to meet up with a mom who is new to our group. This was the first time I had met the new mom, and I was excited and so was my friend. We get there and everything is going great. We have lunch, talk, and learn about each others' kids, and hang out and talk some more. Then, we are all getting antsy about checking the time since we have to pick up our kiddos. So she asks me what time I have to pick up my kids, and I say 3:00. Which is true, for JB and Jenna, my big kids. But poor Ressie. I FORGOT HER RIGHT THERE! Ding, ding, ding!! Warning bells shoud have been going off right there!! I am supposed to pick Ressie up from her pre-school at 2:30! So me and friend and friend's kids load up and we're trucking along back to Fairfield. Drop off friend at her car. Check the time, and then I'm all like, "Self, you've got plenty of time before you pick up the kids, let's cruise through Sonic and get a drink". And I'm all, "great idea Self"! Cool...here we go. Get the tea, "mmm...good tea". Check the time...still good! Then while I'm sitting there enjoying my drink in the awesome quiet (while jamming to "Stranglehold"
--that's totally "quiet time" for me as there were no screaming kids in the car at the time), I decide to call Butch and tell him about my awesome day. So I do, and we're talking. So I put him on speaker, and pull on out of Sonic so that I can meander my way to the school. Then he has to go, so we say our good-byes, and hang up. Crank the music (good tunes must be listened to at the proper level to be appreciated, after all), and then I think to myself, out of the blue, "where's Ressie?". HOLY #?*$!!!! *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*!!!!!!! (I can't actually bring myself to type what I said, my Mamaw is probably gonna read this!) HOLY #$@&!!!! I FREAKIN' FORGOT MY KID!! OH SHIT OH SHIT OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!! Literally....I went through all of that, and then into panic mode. HOLY CRAP I REALLY FORGOT RESSIE!! I'M A COMPLETE ASSHAT FAILURE OF A MOTHER!!! OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!!! So then I think, "OK, calm down...you gotta call the school before they call you". So I call, and out comes my lie..."Hey, this is Shannon, I'm soooooo SORRY!! I had a flat, but I'm on my way!" Cue the cloud of SHAME!! I lied to the teacher--at the CHURCH pre-school!--so that I didn't have to admit to anyone that I forgot my own child! So I get there and run in--ok, ok...walked...really fast--and when I get in there, she's just happy as can be, helping the teacher clean-up. Teacher says, "oh, she was fine, I'm always here until at least 3 anyways, its really ok". So I feel like more of an ass for lying! Great!
Well, me and little Miss Sunshine roll out of the church parking lot and head over to get in line at school to pick-up JB and Jenna. And cue the 3-year-old, bawling melt-down! Total over-load for me! Call Butch, no answer. Call Mom, no answer. Frantically call Mom again..."please freakin pick up! Why the F#$% do you not pick up?! HOLY CRAP JUST TELL ME YOU FORGOT ME JUST ONCE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!!"...still, no answer. "DAMMIT!!!"
I eventually calmed down. After some texting to the bestie and--finally--a phone call from Butch, I was convinced that, while I may not win "mother of the year", I am NOT a terrible parent. It happens to the best of us, y'all. On the bright side of this whole thing, she was totally supervised the entire time and was in a safe place. I didn't leave her at the park, or in the parking lot at WalMart, or anything like that. And, I was less than 15 minutes late (like only 14). So it could have been way worse. I am so thankful for her little pre-school, they are truly good people there!
And so ends another eventful day in the Margraves household. Please, please, please, let tomorrow be uneventful!
Wow...all I can say is...WOW! And shake my head as I sit here to write this. I always said that there was no way--as in no way in HELL!--that I would ever be one of *'THOSE'* parents. No way! Not me! Can't happen. Well folks, I'm here to tell ya...it CAN happen, and it can totally happen to you!! 'Cause it sure as hell happened to me. AND I am so hugely embarrassed to tell y'all about this, but I hope that by doing so I can help you not panic..and completely freak out...and have a total 3-year-old meltdown like I did. (And today, this has nothing to do with autism.) I so could have used one of these:
**FULL DISCLAIMER: What I am about to tell you was totally not funny at the time, but now that I have had time to process and live through it and everything, I actually find it a little funny. I have to look for the humor in these situations, because...well...honestly, if I don't laugh about it, I'm gonna cry about it. And crying about it leads to those little temper tantrums and a very unhappy mommy. And besides, isn't laughing a lot better than crying?? So, just thought I should put that out there for ya. If you don't like to laugh, my page probably isn't for you...just sayin'. Sooo...SMILE and be happy y'all!
OK, so I know you're wondering what could be so bad. I'm stalling...I know. But the ONE thing in this world that I swore to myself I would never do...I did. Its terrible. I FORGOT MY KID. There I said it...*sigh*. Holy CRAP!! I ACTUALLY FORGOT MY KID!! Poor Ressie...I forgot her at her pre-school. *Shaking my head* I am so ashamed. I totally panicked. I called her school--and then I lied on top of everything else!! I lied and told them I had a flat so that I didn't have to actually admit that I FORGOT MY OWN CHILD! A cloud of shame will follow me 'Pig-Pen'-style for a while for this one. WOW! And so, here's the story:
I was having a great day! Went and did my first Zumba video this morning with the bestie. Now when I say 'did', I mean 'watched'. Because we are so terrible at working out, we had to actually sit and watch the how-to section at the beginning of the video to see how hard this was going to be. And we did so while we were happily lounging on the couch drinking coffee and laughing at the totally hot Zumba girls making everything look so damn easy! Really?! Gah!! Grr...anyways, that's a whole other topic. So we watched, and decided we could go on, and the next morning we had 'work-out time', we would actually get up and do the steps they were showing on the video (small steps, right?). So ok, work-out, check *wink*.
So then I go to meet up with another autism mom from Big T's Buddies and ride down the road a little ways to meet up with a mom who is new to our group. This was the first time I had met the new mom, and I was excited and so was my friend. We get there and everything is going great. We have lunch, talk, and learn about each others' kids, and hang out and talk some more. Then, we are all getting antsy about checking the time since we have to pick up our kiddos. So she asks me what time I have to pick up my kids, and I say 3:00. Which is true, for JB and Jenna, my big kids. But poor Ressie. I FORGOT HER RIGHT THERE! Ding, ding, ding!! Warning bells shoud have been going off right there!! I am supposed to pick Ressie up from her pre-school at 2:30! So me and friend and friend's kids load up and we're trucking along back to Fairfield. Drop off friend at her car. Check the time, and then I'm all like, "Self, you've got plenty of time before you pick up the kids, let's cruise through Sonic and get a drink". And I'm all, "great idea Self"! Cool...here we go. Get the tea, "mmm...good tea". Check the time...still good! Then while I'm sitting there enjoying my drink in the awesome quiet (while jamming to "Stranglehold"
--that's totally "quiet time" for me as there were no screaming kids in the car at the time), I decide to call Butch and tell him about my awesome day. So I do, and we're talking. So I put him on speaker, and pull on out of Sonic so that I can meander my way to the school. Then he has to go, so we say our good-byes, and hang up. Crank the music (good tunes must be listened to at the proper level to be appreciated, after all), and then I think to myself, out of the blue, "where's Ressie?". HOLY #?*$!!!! *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*!!!!!!! (I can't actually bring myself to type what I said, my Mamaw is probably gonna read this!) HOLY #$@&!!!! I FREAKIN' FORGOT MY KID!! OH SHIT OH SHIT OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!! Literally....I went through all of that, and then into panic mode. HOLY CRAP I REALLY FORGOT RESSIE!! I'M A COMPLETE ASSHAT FAILURE OF A MOTHER!!! OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!!! So then I think, "OK, calm down...you gotta call the school before they call you". So I call, and out comes my lie..."Hey, this is Shannon, I'm soooooo SORRY!! I had a flat, but I'm on my way!" Cue the cloud of SHAME!! I lied to the teacher--at the CHURCH pre-school!--so that I didn't have to admit to anyone that I forgot my own child! So I get there and run in--ok, ok...walked...really fast--and when I get in there, she's just happy as can be, helping the teacher clean-up. Teacher says, "oh, she was fine, I'm always here until at least 3 anyways, its really ok". So I feel like more of an ass for lying! Great!
I eventually calmed down. After some texting to the bestie and--finally--a phone call from Butch, I was convinced that, while I may not win "mother of the year", I am NOT a terrible parent. It happens to the best of us, y'all. On the bright side of this whole thing, she was totally supervised the entire time and was in a safe place. I didn't leave her at the park, or in the parking lot at WalMart, or anything like that. And, I was less than 15 minutes late (like only 14). So it could have been way worse. I am so thankful for her little pre-school, they are truly good people there!
And so ends another eventful day in the Margraves household. Please, please, please, let tomorrow be uneventful!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
The Sunshine Award
Hey everyone! Today, I'm doing something a little different with my blog. Tsara has found my lil 'ol blog entertaining enough to nominate me for the Sunshine Award! Woohoo! I have *A* reader! LOL! This is a pretty neat little deal because we get to learn about all of the bloggers who participate and follow along with this little game. There are stipulations to follow, however:
For the Sunshine Award, the blogger must:
11 Random Facts About Myself (NO LAUGHING!)
Deserving Bloggers
Well, now, this is a little awkward for me. I don't actually know 11 bloggers, or read 11 blogs!! I will, however, list some blogs that I like and follow.
11 Questions for the Bloggers I Nominate to Answer
"And now, the rest of the story"--my answers to the questions Tsara posted.
For the Sunshine Award, the blogger must:
- Acknowledge the nominating blogger (Thanks Tsara @Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton!!)
- Share 11 random facts about yourself.
- Answer 11 questions the nominating blogger has created for you.
- List 11 bloggers. They should be bloggers you believe deserve some recognition and a little blogging love!
- Post 11 questions for the bloggers you nominate to answer & let all the bloggers know they've been nominated. You cannot nominate the blogger who nominated you.
11 Random Facts About Myself (NO LAUGHING!)
- I love to cook--especially for a crowd.
- I am a music fanatic. I love everything from classic country to 80s hair bands...I've been told I have an extremely eclectic collection of music. Classic rock and Texas/Red Dirt Country are my faves!
- I have a weird obsession with eyebrows. I CANNOT STAND for any hair in my eyebrows to be out of place!!
- I'm a Scorpio, and I think that description fits me well.
- I have one lonely tattoo...a puzzle piece on my left wrist for JB. But there is a cool story about that tattoo, because my hubby has a matching one, and so do our 2 friends Dana and Brandon (Aunt Dana and 'Hunkle' Brandon to my kiddos). They also all fit together to symbolize that we're all in this together to support JB.
- I drive a very un-cool silver minivan that Butch refers to as the "cannon ball', I refer to it as the "grocery-getter", and my mother refers to it as the "vomitmobile". Now you can imagine on your own what that's like. One day, I WILL have a Suburban!! (If I keep repeating that to myself, maybe it will come true!)
- Since having the gastric sleeve surgery, I truly do miss beer more than I miss any food! (Is that bad, lol?)
- I only use Aquafresh toothpaste.
- I am the only person I know who has dislocated her jaw a bajillion times.
- I LOVE Duck Dynasty!!! Mostly because there is finally a reality show where people act my kind of normal!
- My favorite Disney movie is The Little Mermaid.
Deserving Bloggers
Well, now, this is a little awkward for me. I don't actually know 11 bloggers, or read 11 blogs!! I will, however, list some blogs that I like and follow.
- Betsy at Trials and Blessings--She is totally awesome! There is always an inspirational, pick-me-up message in her blog. And they're short and sweet! She is such an inspirational lady, and I always feel better after reading what she has to say.
- Autism Daddy has a lot of great info in his blog. Its also humorous and down-to-Earth.
- Mac at Homestyle Mama (with a Side of Autism) has an awesome blog!! She is so very easy to follow and always has great info.
- The Homestead Survival has lots of great info on everything from gardening and canning to raising your own animals for meat! Awesome information on lots of need-to-know subjects for our lifestyle.
- Message with a Bottle OK, so this dude is just hands-down freakin' hilarious! LOL! I mean his little tag line for his blog is "PARENTING. ONE WISEASS NOTE AT A TIME." What's not to like?
- I'm not supposed to mention, or 'nominate', the blog that nominated me, but I don't know that many, so I'm gonna be a rule-breaker, baby! Tsara at Autism Answers has such an awesome outlook on life! She turns everything into an uplifting, teachable moment.
11 Questions for the Bloggers I Nominate to Answer
- What are you thinking about at this exact moment?
- What are 10 random songs you love?
- If you could meet one person, living or not, who has inspired you, who would that be and why?
- What kind of museums do you like to visit?
- What place would you most like to visit and why?
- Chocolate or vanilla??
- What charitable causes do you support--not necessarily monetarily, could just be with your actions or beliefs--and why do you think that cause is worthy?
- What is your favorite animal?
- What do you love most about each of your kids (if you don't have your own kids, pick one you know)?
- What totally freaks you out?
- What is one of your guilty pleasures?
- What do you enjoy most about writing? Writing is truly a therapy for me. I have found that if I'm stressed, sitting down to write about it helps to calm my nerves. That's how my blog was 'born', after all.
- Who are some of your biggest influences? I would have to say that some of the influences in my life are other autism parents. Its phenomenal to see parents come together for the good of their children. Autism parents band together--after all, no one knows you better than someone who walks in your shoes every day. BUT--I do have to say that my parents are the biggest influences in my life. I had awesome parents growing up. I had the parents that you could go to when you needed to talk about anything under the sun. I had the parents who didn't let what everyone else is doing interfere with their parenting. I had the parents who knew everything I did before I got home from a night out with my friends ;). My parents both had jobs working their tails off to provide for us, and yet Wade (lil bro) and I still made it to every band practice, sports practice, games, boy/girl scouts, 4-H, FFA, etc. event that we ever had. AND my mom managed to keep a super-clean house and home-made dinners on the table. I don't know about some of you other parents, but I'm still trying to figure all of this out. I sure as hell will never be SuperMom, but if I can be at least half as good as my parents were, that's something!
- Are you a shower or bath person? Well, I'm mostly a shower person, but never underestimate the rejuvenating super-power of a hot bubble bath with a good book and a glass of wine within reach!
- When someone asks,"What do you do?", what is your answer? "I'm a mom!"
- What is one fear you've gotten over in your life? I think the biggest fear I have (mostly) overcome would have to be my fear of failure as a mother. It does still sneak up on me every now and then, but for the most part, I have stomped on it and swept it to the side. I was so afraid of failing at being JB's mom. So afraid of having to fight this autism battle. So afraid of making the wrong decisions when it came to anything for JB, from ARD/IEP meetings to therapy decisions--they had me frozen and scared. All I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. BUT then, I stood up and had a Twisted Sister moment, and realized that all I could do was do my best. And so far, my best has been pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. Fear stomped out.
- What is your favorite movie genre? I really like all kinds of movies. Sometimes I'm in the mood for an action, kill-'em-all type movie, and other times I want to snuggle on the couch with a box of Kleenex for a chic-flick. With a pillow though, because the Butcher is totally out on the chic-flicks. But I must say, my favorite de-stressor movies would have to be stoner comedies. You know, the ones where you feel like you've lost IQ points after watching them. Yeah, dude, those rock! 25 Best Stoner Comedies of All Time
- How do you usually react to stress? I think most people that know me would say I panic about stuff. But I will say I kick stress in the teeth (mostly because it sounds cool, because I totally panic.)
- Do you laugh often? I LOVE TO LAUGH and I do it as often as possible!
- When people describe you, what word do you think is most often used? What word would you use? Well, I would hope that most people would think 'happy'. I try to be positive and laugh as much as possible. Now, a word I would use...well, that's harder. I would say 'honest'. I want people to trust me. I want people to see an honest, down-to-earth, and happy person when they look at me.
- What's a favorite comfort food? Chicken fried backstrap (venison) with cream gravy, mashed potatoes, green peas, and home-made biscuits.
- Do you prefer to read fact or fiction? While I do read a ton of factual books (autism=lots of reading), I would much rather read a good novel.
Thanks for reading all these random things about me!! I hope you are inspired to play along in the comment section! If you post questions for me, I will try to answer them. Go on and play along with your friends, its a great way to get to know your buddies!
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